Does Deleting an E-mail Mean You’re Guilty?

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After dating someone and finally realizing they’re not the one for you, you either dump them or they dump you. It’s just the way of the dating game and after days, months, even years of getting over them–you move on and find yourself dating a new shiny person. You compare the new and the old, it’s only humanly natural. Love is like shopping for artichokes at Trader Joe’s; you want to make sure you’re getting a whole heart in the one you choose. You take it slow–not wanting to make the same mistakes–and then poof, one day you realize you’re in a new relationship. You share laughs, thoughts, you even share toothpaste, and after six months of being with this new person–it happens…you’re old relationship-person e-mails you to see how you’re doing. Do you respond? Ignore it? Should you delete the e-mail from your exes?

This happened to both me and my boyfriend, Santiago, this past week. His ex, the one before me, e-mailed him with a casual conversational tone mixed in some humor, a compliment, and a “good job on your new photography career.” I was e-mailed with less of a fanfare but ended with a “coffee, soon?” We were both amazed at how synchronized their messages were, as if both exes were following some sort of manual, the “How to Screw with Your Exes Mind” manual which clearly states that contacting them six months after they’re in a new relationship is mandatory. Santiago’s been out of that relationship for three years, and me, well it’s been one year–but the bigger question was–what do we do with the e-mails?

I have nothing to hide, so I left mine, besides, on the iPhone, I haven’t figured out how to delete an actual message on the Facebook app, that’s how I was contacted. Santiago, on the other hand, was contacted through e-mail; which he deleted. And the reason he deleted it was that he wants nothing to do with this person. But would someone else deleting an e-mail be hiding something? Did this mean they were guilty of a love-crime? As I thought about our situation, I couldn’t help but wonder, “After spending so much time trying to get over someone, and figuring out what went wrong, do you respond to their inquires and start a new friendship? And whatever you decide, what do you do with the e-mail? Do you keep it as a reminder, a battle scar of what you’ve been through or do you trash it on your phone and/or computer but also empty the recycle bin in your heart? ”

Do you keep e-mails that your exes send you? Leave a comment.